JIJI NDOGO: What kind of mganga is this?

In a bid to stay young and stave off retirement, Tembo sought the help of a mganga, who asked for a white goat, a chicken and a pregnant skunk.

That last one has proven to be a bit of an ask. If you ask me, I believe she threw the request in there knowing it was an impossible task. I mean, she might as well have asked for a unicorn. Or a three-headed snake!

But leave it to Sophia to come up with an incredible solution. She painted a furry cat black and white. I have to say, she did quite a good job of it, too. While I noticed it almost right away, Inspector Tembo is sold.

“This is incredible, Sophie!” he exclaims, then turns to me. “See? This is what I mean when I say you’re not good enough for my daughter.”

“Oh, yeah?” I say, ready to spill the beans.

Sophia stomps on my foot so hard I’m afraid she might have broken my toes.

“Why don’t we take it to the mganga right away, huh?” she suggests.

“Are you sure?” Tembo asks. “I mean, you don’t have to go to all that trouble.”

“It’s no trouble, father. Besides, I did get the skunk, didn’t I?”

“You did, my daughter, you did.”

All this chumminess between Sophia and her father is new. And strange. They were never this buddy-buddy before. Somehow, I feel like an outsider.

“Since when were you two this close?” I utter before I can control my emotions. “Am I missing something?”

Sophia gives me a look as if she’s just realised I’m a moron.

“Makini,” she says, “my dad is old and is losing his mind, and the best you could do is take him to a mganga so he doesn’t die. I had to come to his rescue.”

“He’s my boss,” I protest. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Hey,” Tembo says, “I’m not losing my mind.”

“Shut up, Dad,” Sophia calls. “You lived in the forest hunting a skunk. Frankly, I don’t know who’s lost it more, you or Makini. But I’m going to put this whole thing to rest once and for all.”

She marches us straight to the mganga in her forest hut. Poof! Out comes the white goat, white chicken and a cage containing the ‘pregnant skunk’. I can’t wait to see the witch’s reaction. The disdain on her face when she realises we’re trying to dupe her with a painted cat.

She takes the goat with a big smile on her face, stashes it inside another room. Comes back and accepts the chicken with similar enthusiasm.

Sophia pushes the cage forward.

“You only get the skunk,” she says. “I need my cage back.”

One look inside the cage and the witch suddenly turns into a basketball player going for an alley-oop the way she jumps into the air.

“What the hell!” she shrieks.

Sophia nudges the cage further towards the woman.

“What is it?” she teases. “Afraid of a little skunk, are we?”

“I didn’t know you were actually going to get one!” cried the mganga.

“Well, we did.” Sophia holds her arms akimbo. “Now all we need is the promised age-reversing potion. And it had better work or you’re under arrest for false advertising.”